


Clara Oswin Oswald's Tea Shop

by orphan_account



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Don't Judge Me, How Do I Tag, I Tried, I don't know classic Who well, I might have accidentally hinted at ThreexEight, I used wiki, Leaving his companions somewhere, The Doctor has tea with himself, i didn't mean to, i tried okay, idk - Freeform, it just sort of happened, might be crack, oh well, teatime
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-16
Updated: 2016-07-16
Packaged: 2018-07-24 10:38:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7505023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Somewhere, somewhen, Clara Oswin Oswald keeps a tea shop by the sea. It’s quite nice, really, pretty blue paint, a porch with some chairs, a front lobby and two main rooms. She’s also made it paradox-proof, she always was a clever girl, in all her impossible lives. One of the rooms is a restaurant, full of tables and chairs. That’s not important though. What matters is the other room- the one with one long table, twelve chairs and a sofa, board games, bookshelves, memorabilia. This is the room where, every few adventures, the Doctor makes excuses to his companions, drops them off, and has tea. With himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Clara Oswin Oswald's Tea Shop

**Author's Note:**

> First time publishing my writing, and first time for Doctor Who. I hope you like this! :D I tried... I don't know Classic Who very well.... I just used wikipedia.... Don't kill me! OTL Anyways, comment, leave kudos, whatever it is people do on this site. I don't own Doctor Who, but I own the tea shop. :D Hope you enjoy!

_Somewhere, somewhen, Clara Oswin Oswald keeps a tea shop by the sea. It’s quite nice, really, pretty blue paint, a porch with some chairs, a front lobby and two main rooms. She’s also made it paradox-proof, she always was a clever girl, in all her impossible lives. One of the rooms is a restaurant, full of tables and chairs. That’s not important though. What matters is the other room- the one with one long table, twelve chairs and a sofa, board games, bookshelves, memorabilia. This is the room where, every few adventures, the Doctors make excuses to their companions, drop them off, and have tea. With himself._

* * *

 

‘Polly, girl, could you be so kind as to wake Ben and get off the TARDIS for a moment? I’ve got to go somewhere, just been informed there’s a planet about to explode due to tangled time-lines, and the air is unbreathable to humans,’ the First Doctor lied, pretending to see a message on the small screen on the control centre.

‘Alright, Doctor,’ the blonde agreed, standing up and looking for her lover. ‘Ben, come on!’

‘What is it, Polly?’ Ben asked sleepily, looking out into the control room.

‘There’s a planet exploding, time-lines or something, and we can’t breath the air there, so we have to wait here.’

‘It should only take a moment,’ the Doctor added.

‘Alright then, Doctor,’ Ben shrugged, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. ‘Good luck with the planet.’ Polly and Ben then left the TARDIS, sitting on the park bench it was parked next to and watching it phase away.

Inside the TARDIS, the Doctor- One- flicked switches, turned dials, and pushed some buttons, calibrating the TARDIS coordinates for young Miss Oswald’s tea shop. A few moments later, he waited for the _vwhoorp, vwhoorp_ to stop and stepped out of the TARDIS.

* * *

 

‘Oh!’ the Second Doctor exclaimed, his internal clock reminding him that he was supposed to meet with himself at that nice Miss Clara’s tea shop.

‘What is it, Doctor?’ Victoria asked, standing on her tiptoes to peer over the cylinder in the centre of the console.

The Doctor allowed some of the surprise at the time to show on his face, but made another excuse. ‘I’ve found a fault in the TARDIS, the old girl,’ he patted the console. ‘I’ve got to fix it as soon as possible. Only problem is, if I do something wrong, I could accidentally blow up the planet.’

‘Oh, that’s bad,’ the girl commented, shocked.

‘I should probably go to a different, bigger and sturdier planet to repair it,’ the Doctor lied easily, escorting Victoria to the door.

‘What are you doing?’

‘Can’t have you with me. Huge explosion if I do something wrong, remember? Big chunk of planet go boom-boom!’ He opened the door for her, letting her out under an oak tree in a park. ‘I’ll just go fix it, and then come back to a few seconds from now. I’ll be right back.’

He shut the door behind him, flicking switches, turning dials, and pushing buttons to direct his TARDIS to the beach where the tea shop was located. The familiar _vwhoorp, vwhoorp_ filled the air, and Two stepped onto the familiar sand with a smile on his face.

* * *

The Third Doctor was sitting on the backseat of Bessie, watching the sun set and the stars rise, remembering the planets circling the stars. He was between companions at the moment, having found this field a few kilometres away from the dump he’d landed in. He idly wondered how he was supposed to get to the tea-shop-meeting-place this time, without his TARDIS. He sat there a while longer, reciting the names of the stars under his breath, until a strangely familiar _vwhoorp, vwhoorp_ echoed around the empty field and he looked up, pleasantly surprised that his TARDIS was here. One of his, anyway. Not one he’d seen before, and he didn’t remember this anyway, so not his previous incarnations. A man with curly brown hair opened the door and leaned out.

‘Hullo there,’ the younger greeted. ‘Which are you?’

‘Why, I’m offended,’ the other dramatically placed his hand on his chest, faux-hurt. ‘Have you forgotten me so quickly after we last had tea?’

‘Oh, give yourself a break,’ the white-haired man replied, jumping off the car and shaking hands with his future. ‘I just crash-landed in a rubbish dump, we’re bound to forget some things what with the head-banging and whatever else.’

‘Ohh, forgetting,’ his future inhaled sharply. ‘Yes, I’ve much experience with that.’

‘Ah!’ he grinned in realization. ‘You’re the one with amnesia, the Eighth!’

‘At your service, Third,’ Eight bowed, and gestured towards the TARDIS. ‘Shall we away?’

‘We shall, indeed,’ Three entered the new TARDIS and took a glance around. ‘Redecorated, I see.’

‘Oh, don’t start,’ Eight groaned. ‘None of us ever likes each other’s redecoration, and yet we do it. Besides, I don’t believe it was me who changed it first. It was Four.’

‘I highly doubt I would turn my TARDIS into this so soon,’ Three pointed out, still teasing his future self.

‘Oh, fine. Yes, I did this particular style,’ Eight admitted, bounding around the poles and scaffolding-looking things to the central console, flicking switches, pushing buttons, twisting dials. Finally he threw the lever to start through the time vortex, the _vwhoorp, vwhoorp_ streaming round the TARDIS until they arrived on the beach beside the First and Second TARDISes.

Eight opened the door for Three, again the image of a perfect gentleman. Three scoffed, smiling, and pushed Eight’s arm out of the way before making his way across the sand and pausing at the porch to look out at the ocean.

‘I’ll just be going round the timelines, making sure no one’s lost and everyone can get here,’ Eight excused himself, blowing a joking kiss at Three, who waved it off with a laugh. _Vwhoorp, vwhoorp, vwhoorp_ … And Eight was gone for the moment.

* * *

‘Hey, Doctor,’ Leela interrupted as he was about to send them on their next adventure.

‘What is it, Leela?'

‘Don’t you have a thing to do?’

The Fourth Doctor blinked in surprise. ‘What?’

‘Every few planets, you usually go off somewhere on your own and come back a few seconds later. Or have you forgotten about whatever it is?’

Well. This companion was certainly more astute than most of his past ones. ‘I’m surprised.’ He smiled though, so she knew he wasn’t mad for uncovering this secret of his, wherever he went.

‘Should I wait out there?’ she asked, gesturing out at Victorian London beyond the doors.

‘Nah,’ he shook his head, circling the central console. ‘Same park as last time will do,’ and he opened the doors by a large pile of decorative stone in the middle of the grass.

‘Good luck with your thing, Doctor,’ Leela grinned, hopping out of the TARDIS and leaning against the rock, waiting for him to leave.

‘Be back in a few seconds,’ the Doctor assured her, shutting the door and turning all the customary buttons, dials, and switches. The _vwhoorp, vwhoorp_ of time travel echoed around the room, and he opened the door to the salty smell of ocean.

Four stepped out into the bright sunshine, sinking slightly into the sand, and grinned at Three leaning on the porch rail, One leaning on the inside of his doorway, refusing to go out into the burning sun, and Two at the edge of the water, turning in a full circle before hopping up on the porch railing across from Three and digging into his pocket for a bag of Jelly Babies.

One remarked, ‘Everyone’s arriving quickly, aren’t we?’ and in the space of the few seconds that he spoke, three more police boxes faded into view, one after another. ((A/N: This gives you an idea of how fast it’s happening- One has only been there for less than ten seconds and already he, Two, Three, and Four are here. Plus the next three, which I’ll write now.))

* * *

‘Welcome aboard, Peri,’ the Fifth Doctor finished speaking, letting go of the console after the turbulence. Something in his internal clock ticked, and he realized he was overdue to meet with himself and catch up, and he had to make an excuse before his pesky Eighth self showed up and kidnapped him again. Once, in his Second form, he’d forgotten about the appointment, and Ben and Polly had been completely confused and panicked when a strange man showed up in his own TARDIS and grabbed him. In his own humble opinion, Eight was attention-seeking. But back to the problem at hand- what to tell Peri. He didn’t want to lie to her, but he didn’t want her to worry if he got pulled into Eight’s TARDIS fo the meeting. Then again, it was bad form if he were late for the meeting. Thinking back, he remembered that in his last body, one of his companions found out what was happening… sort of. He got an idea from the memory- vaguely make an excusable explanation that avoids everything important and doesn’t explain anything. It wasn’t technically lying… Fine.

‘I’m sorry, Peri,’ he turned to her. ‘I just remembered I’ve got this thing I have to do, I’m meeting some… friends, I suppose you could say. I really can’t miss this meeting, could I drop you off somewhere and pick you up when the meeting’s over? It should only take a few seconds on your end.’

‘All right, Doctor,’ Peri agreed.

‘There’s a nice park I know, if I have people travelling with me I leave them there usually while I say hello to my, er, friends,’ he truthfully told her.

‘Sounds good,’ she nodded, still looking around the TARDIS in awe.

He moved around the console in the familiar routine, setting the switches and dials to the park before he visited that interesting Miss Oswald’s shop. The swooshing _vwhoorp, vwhoorp_ sounded through the ship, before landing by the fence edging the park.

‘Here we are,’ the Doctor announced, swinging open the doors. ‘Now, I’ll only be a moment, dear.’ He closed the door after her, returning to the console.

His fingers performed the familiar dance of switches flicked, buttons pushed, and dials twisted, before the ending pose of the final lever pulled. Again, the _vwhoorp, vwhoorp_ echoed through the TARDIS, and when it quieted, he opened the doors, blinking at the brightness of the sudden sun.

Looking around, Six saw Three and Four on the porch, Two by the ocean, and One sheltering from the sun, as another door’s familiar squeaking meant that his next body was coming out, and a chorus of _vwhoorp_ s filled the air over the beach as a couple more TARDISes arrived.

* * *

‘Peri, girl!’ the Sixth Doctor called.

The brunette appeared from around the corner. ‘What is it, Doctor?’

‘I’ve a very important meeting to attend, they’re probably all waiting impatiently for me to arrive so they can begin,’ the Doctor gestured aimlessly, ‘and we’ll be discussing some very technical things to do with the time streams and the best way to, as one of my colleagues put it,’ he sneered a tiny bit, ‘’reverse the polarity of the neutron flow’, although frankly he’s a bit dull. Still, plenty of things will be far too complicated for your human mind, so I’d best leave you at the park, as usual.’

‘You could have just said so, you know,’ she pointed out, grabbing a jacket and heading to the doorway. She leaned on it, waiting for the Doctor to fly the TARDIS to the park. ‘’I’ve got to go to another meeting, Peri. I’ll drop you off at the park as usual.’ You don’t need to be so patronizing,’ she remarked.

The Doctor silently rolled his eyes with his back to her, as he parked the ship by a path. ‘Here we are.’

‘Good luck with your meeting, Doctor,’ Peri exited the ship and leaned on a water fountain nearby.

‘I don’t need luck, of course, but thank you anyway,’ he shrugged off. Swinging the door closed behind her, he returned to the console and flipped the usual switches, twisted the usual dials, and pushed the usual buttons. The _vwhoorp, vwhoorp_ of the TARDIS taking off with the brakes on resounded through the room, bringing a smile to the Doctor’s face. As the sound faded, he straightened his coat and strode out of his ship, closing the door of the box behind him. Six glanced around the sandy oceanside, taking in Five and Three on the porch, One scowling from the shade of his TARDIS, Two wading in the ocean with his shoes and socks on dry land, Five on the step by the porch, and three or four more TARDISes in various stages of transparency _vwhoorp_ ing into sight. He couldn’t stop his smile spreading into a grin across his face. The owner of the azure-painted building, Miss Clara Oswin Oswald, opened the door of it, pulling out a few chairs from inside and setting them on the porch with a smile on her lips. ‘Hello, everyone!’ she greeted as one of the other TARDISes became solid and began opening.

**Author's Note:**

> I got writers block!!! DDX But I promise, as soon as I get past it I'll get on with Seven, Eight, War, Nine, Ten, Eleven, and Twelve. :D Promise! This and the next chapter (whenever I write it) are just the arrivals, next I'll be doing the actual having-tea-chatting-etc thing. I've also been thinking of, when I've finished this, making a side fic of what all the companions did when they were all dropped off at the same park. It might be interesting. Well, comment please to tell me what you thought! Comments are life! :DD Hasta la pasta, see you around~ -TheOtherBookwormFangirl (Belle)


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